The Poetics of Light #14

ty-provosty

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The Dark Earth of our Being

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The beginning of this series starts here

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      Now with the Principles of Light, I had a viable vocabulary and a new unifying language to draw from. All the seemingly random aspects of archetypal perception began to fall into a complex discordant pattern. For our purposes here we begin simply, with how they originated and what they are, for the archetypes of traumatic experience are a human creation.

           To unravel the complexities of archetypal perception takes a far reaching patience and a self-nurturing heart. Just like the tending of a seed as it grows, we place this seed into the dark earth of our beings and enter the mystery.

~

“Opening the veil

Seeing the patterns…

Trees growing tall block the sun.

A lone seedling emerging needing strong roots

Digging deeper to find them”

~

          As I was building and piecing together the random parts of this puzzle, I recalled our early work in the dialogues which had focused on how human perception has shifted collectively to a progressive time oriented perception. Of how our aggressive cultural determination and inclination towards hierarchical structure upholds and reinforces the patterns of cause and effect.

          I considered the species hierarchy that has been cultivated and continues to be maintained creating our belief that we have an absolute physical and spiritual dominion over nature. I considered the human inclination to think of ourselves abstractly as observers rather than direct participants, with intellectual curiosity but also with an agenda. Of how this perceptual time orientation encourages us to measure our relationships with respect to everything outside of ourselves… often including our most intimate relationships. Of how this collective perception fosters and reinforces alienation and separation, not only from the rest of the intelligent life we coexist with, but also personally within ourselves. How as our cultures developed and our populations grew, in a desire to secure a predictable future, we have too frequently been subject to a violent and manipulative history, particularly within our own species but also towards everything that might serve our purposes in the natural world.

~

“The garden is overgrowing

with fresh blood flowing”

~

           In the dialogues we now discussed how this perception, based on the progressive perception of time rather than a perception based in relationship, led to extreme acts against life. How systematically within our own species, through wars, genocide, deprivation and actions of hatred, violence, greed and indifference, there have been long periods when incomprehensible numbers of human beings have collectively experienced a common trauma consistently, often throughout the entire duration of their lives.

          This great collective human suffering without benefit of healing, all encompassing beyond personal endurance, beyond seeming redemption due to the indoctrination of separation, the consistency of this collective human suffering itself created the archetypes of human traumatic experience.

          The magnitude of this collective traumatic suffering was dominant enough within the Continuum to form archetypes of traumatic experience that remain attendant only to the human frequency. Empathy is our memory of, but also our empathic connection with the velocity of the archetypes of traumatic experience held in our species frequency.  Our empathic sense developed for the sole purpose of encompassing this relationship.

          In this period of our history there are seven different human archetypes of traumatic experience. Together and combined they encompass the history of the collective suffering of mankind. Since we are consistently violent within our own species, in this one act we created the initial archetype… a person who has been injured by another human being.

           Our consistent history of violence, our adherence to a perceptual time continuum, and the cause and effect imbalance this continually promotes within the Continuum of Life, have all created the conditions for the addition of six other archetypal situations. Together they are…

~

A person who has been injured by another human being.

A person who has been sexually abused.

A person who is living in harsh conditions inimical to life.

A person who has experienced a life threatening physical condition.

A person who has experienced an epidemic disease.

A person who has been injured in a natural disaster or weather related incident.

A person who has inherited a life altering condition or disease at birth.

~

           The archetypes themselves, in their infinite variety of possible personal expression are however, without physical structure. It is perhaps because the archetypes are without physical structure that our relationship with them has remained shadowed. We are aware of this relationship though. This depth of traumatic memory permeates our experience. We have simply given it other names, other faces, and a wide variety of other expressions. We create art, movies, stories, myths, cultural taboos and spiritual/religious counterparts to give definition to our intuitive understandings.

           Although our relationship with the archetypes is most relevant concerning the archetypal traumas incurred in our every day lives, it is compounded by our empathic memories of unresolved traumatic experience that manifests initially as the inherent vulnerabilities we are born with. Here a paradox arises. Within the Continuum of Life existence itself and creative relevancy resides in the present moment. How is it then possible to remain vulnerable to unconscious unresolved trauma that was experienced in another time? How are we able to bring in the memories of unresolved suffering from another life? And since this is generally unconscious, what can we be expected to do about it?

          Within the Continuum, everything that exists has equal value. The integral and operative expression of this equality is compassion. Since Light has total memory of itself in existence within the infinite variety of its manifest forms in both structure and velocity, and reciprocally maintains a balancing within itself, the reciprocal resonance within the holographic whole is relative to the inherent strengths within the archetypes.

~

“Each moment within the Continuum holds no measure.

We ourselves

filter our past unresolved unconscious memories

through the lens of active perception

until healed.”

~

          The uniquely personal strengths inherent in the archetypes are acquired by responding to life in each moment rather than empathically reacting to the cause and effect patterns of the archetypes. Even without knowing the details of our past archetypal suffering, life gives us every opportunity to acquire the strengths needed, if when we are the most vulnerable we are present to the insights afforded by trusting in resonant relationship.

           It is truly an act of courage since the world continues to be active and subject to the negative and fear based reinforcement of the patterns of cause and effect. Since this includes an ingrained indifference to the suffering of others, our fears may be based realistically in the reality of our situation compounding our vulnerabilities or in adding and layering new traumatic challenges. The insights afforded by a personal response, rather than reaction to a threat, assists us in navigating these more turbulent waters.

           As empathy matures we are motivated instead by personal resilience as we witness and experience the persistence of violence that we are exposed to daily… without turning away. We become participants in a conscious, compassionate perceptual revolution. 

          Through this response we are then able to acquire the strengths needed to be fully present no mater what this asks of us… and gaining these strengths? This becomes our Path of Healing.

~

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Photo:  © LeDoux Provosty

The Poetics of Light #13

yin_yang

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Shadow

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The beginning of this series starts here

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             Through the strangeness and my own flickering resistance, a wisp of light burned slow as the flame held steady and I could see we had now come to the heart of our work in the dialogues. For the next three years I became immersed in an attempt to understand the archetypes and our singular human relationship with them. My initial introduction to the archetypes had been a challenging and an uncomfortably visceral experience. I would soon understand that our explorations would demand everything from me and remain personally experiential, a necessary condition in order to understand the vast empathic realm were were exploring. It was inevitable that I would witness my own soul’s history. For it was said that the soul is simply the memory of our own personal and multi-layered song of suffering.

~

“Becoming human

is poetry without words

a poem about suffering the song of self.

Each person carries their own harmony or dissonance.

In the Continuum

it is all the same song”

~

          The archetypal traumas themselves were not defined. It wasn’t until the end of the dialogues that I was asked to give name to them from my own being.  At this point in our work it was once again reiterated that each archetype had within it inherent vulnerabilities and acquired strengths, which brought into context our earlier discussions concerning reincarnation. We talked again about the memories of unresolved archetypal trauma that we bring with us into our current life to be healed. Since this is generally unconscious, it manifests as an emotional and/or mental inclination that has the possibility of adding a mental and/or emotional weight to our life’s challenges. It was here that the difference between reaction and response was emphasized and became an important distinction.

          we then began randomly compiling the emotional and mental symptoms relevant to archetypal trauma. The symptomology itself was reflective of the reactions a person might have when experiencing archetypal trauma and were eventually broken down into the categories of reaction to the trauma itself, a crisis state, a masking state and an indifference state, while also from the perspective of an infant or child, a teen, or an adult where relevant.  For the next few years this became the bulk of our work.

          It was difficult not to be effected by the symptoms themselves, particularly the aberrations of the empathic state of indifference. Their order was randomly arranged, continually shifted around, added to, deleted, and never categorized until the very end of the dialogues. It was a long, strange and very arduous process, but this way of learning was a blessing since I found that I was deeply effected by my own relationship with traumatic experience and our empathic relationship with archetypal energy.

          Triggered by the work itself, I was able to receive validation of the layers of my own past life unresolved trauma. Far from an abstract acknowledgement, since this is embodied memory, it was interesting that my awareness of these traumas came only when a relevant memory was surfacing. This aspect of myself became very real as a memory rose more clearly to the surface of consciousness. For the most part they appeared as layered vignettes with only fragments of specific detail that I was asked to witness, but I was becoming more adept at recognizing their surfacing and in seeing how they wove through my life coloring my experience, a more subtle but more relevant revelation. Their gravity created an emotional and multi-layered labyrinth. Since this is embodied memory, the breath of remembered trauma is quite real and easily overwhelming. I was able to receive confirmation of this process, and since it was from a source I trusted implicitly, this grounded and steadied the process accelerating my understanding of both myself and a necessary aspect of understanding the many complexities of our work.

          At the same time it was inevitable that I would need to further address my relationship with traumatic experience relative to the physical and sexual abuse, and the resulting PTSD, I have personally experienced in this life. One day while working, after months of the work of compiling random symptomology, it was startling and frankly exhilarating to list and organize a long length of symptoms from my own being without conscious thought. The work became flesh and bone real. It was an odd juxtaposition of known… and unknown.

~

Light

~

“Becoming human

We engage the velocity of light”

~

       As what seemed like a finale to our work together in understanding human perception and archetypal traumatic experience, I was finally led through a clarifying insight. In order to assist our own explorations, I feel it is best to introduce this beautiful insight here … at the beginning of our attempts in understanding the complexities of archetypal perception.

           Perhaps this insight is a spiritual metaphor that acts like a map or a compass, a way to comprehend the inexplicable tailored to my own level of comprehension. But then, everything I’ve learned continues to illuminate that all physical life, all energy, embodies and exhibits a spiritual intelligence. Metaphor, map or compass, it still became and continues to be the key to understanding all that was explained in the dialogues.

           That quiet afternoon in July, I felt I had reached the top of a high mountain after an arduous climb. As I made that last step over the rise the insight was simply there, present and unfolding like a flower hovered over by ardent bees. It was a still point of osmosis and pure exhaustion. I felt as I must have felt being born. It was my first introduction to the Principles of Light.

~

“The waiting is over

The next step is containing yourself

Beholding the truth is sacred”

~

In the Continuum of Life energy is self-contained and manifests as frequency, which is light.

Light has both form…structure

And movement…velocity.

All manifestations of light in the Continuum share a self contained species frequency of structure and velocity. As human beings we share a common human frequency. Within this species frequency we have a physical structure and personal velocity.

Light is the motivating principle of everything in manifestation within the Continuum. Light has memory and is holographic. It maintains the memory of the totality of the existence of its manifest forms. Thus life, in all its forms, in turn manifests this intelligence.

This all encompassing memory is continually in attendance, potentializing and maintaining itself in each moment. In this way Light is holographic.

The natural order of relationship in a holographic continuum is reciprocal.

Structure is the infinitely diverse expression of every manifestation in the Continuum.

Velocity is the means of communication in a spiritually intelligent world.

Velocity in structure is resonant relationship.

Light potentializing within structure and velocity creates infinitely diverse species frequencies communicating in reciprocal resonance.

These conditions of light… to be both a particle and a wave, to have total memory of itself in existence within the infinite variety of its manifestations in substance and velocity, and to reciprocally maintain a balancing within itself, is the nature of the holographic Continuum of Life.

Within the holographic whole, each expression of light in structure and velocity finds reciprocal resonance.

~

          I was filled with an indescribable elation, poised and resonating in the nucleic center of birthing. The words of the final principle resounding through my entire being. “Within the holographic whole, each expression of light in structure and velocity finds reciprocal resonance”.

         The insight culminating in these simple words “finds reciprocal resonance” dispelled the burden of hierarchy, dissolved the tension of the consequences of cause and effect, balanced the fermenting chaos as empathic connection reinforces personal pain. We are not in exile. We never have been….

~

“Trust is the radiant child birthed

as the masculine (Yang) actions of humankind

and the feminine (Yin) responsiveness of nature

intertwine in complimentary reciprocal creation

in a spiritually intelligent world.”

~

           With synaptic speed I had experienced a synergistic understanding and I realized that the Principles of Light presented a structure that lit up a once impenetrable darkness. I was a weed in the cracks of a concrete sidewalk growing in its light as it illuminated the possibility of understanding all we’d been working on.

~

“Bountiful stars”

~

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The series will continue in two weeks on Sunday, December 4th

The Poetics of Light #12

hb

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The Well

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The beginning of this series starts here

~

      I don’t think I’ve ever believed in Hell as a condition of everlasting punishment, even when schooled in its physical existence as an impressionable child. Intellectually I understood the concept of Hell as a psychological or religious metaphor. However, I found that the image of Hell as a “place persisted in my consciousness.

          In the dialogues it seemed we had concluded our discussions of Time and Culture and now there was a bit of a hiatus. I had been especially interested in the discussion of empathy. I had experienced the psychological and spiritual aftermath of rape trauma and the resultant vulnerable empathic condition of having permeable personal boundaries. I often felt an uncontrollable porosity when around other people, overly sensitive to everyone’s empathic inclinations and unable to tell if these empathic tendencies were conscious or unconscious. It could be overwhelming and although I had healed from the worst of this, empathy was of great interest to me. Understanding the various ways it culturally manifested added clarity to the variety of my experience, although it also brought up further unanswered questions. Considering empathy’s negative manifestations, I also found it inauspicious that empathy was attributed solely to humans. However, this also somehow qualified my own experience.

           Then one afternoon while opening once again in resonant communication, I was asked to envision what metaphorically appeared to me to be an immense constructed earthen well. It was deep, vast, airless and with the stillness of complete emptiness. Then I saw a picture of a person in a symbolic scene. It was a visual story with few elements, but where every aspect held meaning. When I “returned” from this “well” I was asked to recall what I’d seen in detail, and then I was told that I’d experienced a human archetype.

           Over the next four months I was asked to view this “well” many more times while in resonant communication. Each time I saw a different scene, another symbolic archetype. Between sessions I’d feel immense resistance. I couldn’t place my reservations in any context. It was just a feeling of profound apprehension. I would deal with my reservations and then return to the work. The only information I was given was that each scene was an archetype relative to human beings. Each of the archetypes had within it inherent vulnerabilities and acquired strengths.

           While viewing the archetypes, the rules I was to follow became more strict. Gone were the meandering observations concerning Culture and Time. There were new procedures about asking questions that were relative only to myself and these questions were discouraged. My focusing abilities were challenged, my concentration sharpened. New prayers were added and repeated more often. Every move was refined in seriousness.

           I was to be in an almost entirely responsive posture now. The trust I’d been building was the ground I stood on and in this vastness I felt unsure of its capacity to hold me in place. In the dialogues I had become used to a simple introduction to whatever material we’d be working on each time I’d open in resonant communication, but now I was to simply to be present without any idea of what we were actually working on. The testing also increased in both occurrence and subtlety.

          We began by discussing archetypes. In my work as an artist I have often been fascinated by visual archetypal designs and symbols used by different cultures. I respond to them as a universal language…. a form of visual poetry. Archetypes have also become standard in psychological, cultural and spiritual myths and systems of exploring the human psyche. I could see that archetypes are a broad category. Were we talking about the hero, the scapegoat, the savior archetypes that we spoke of when exploring Time and Culture? Or were we referring to the myths and the stories that inform us? The Fool, the Serpent in the Garden, the Trickster Coyote? If these are branches of the archetypal tree, I was now being asked to dig deeper into the roots.

          The archetypes we were addressing were not simply stories we collectively tell ourselves that eventually, over time, become the fabric of our cultural or spiritual considerations. These archetypes were deeper… more like skin. To be as intimate as skin, an archetype would have to hold more than just story. Our skin is experiential in every sense. It is our largest sensing organ. Individual cells make up the structure of skin. Cells replicate, they know their purpose, cells are in relationship with other cells. They have memory. These archetypes encompassed both personal experience and memory.

          But what of my own conditioning? The stories of Hell I remembered from childhood that created the assumption that this well was a place? For indeed, the intensity of my apprehension towards the archetypes I was witnessing called to mind a kind of hell. This storied archetype of Hell continued to color my understanding, keeping me from clearly seeing that the “well” where these archetypes existed is not a place…

~

This “well” is an embodied empathic memory.

~

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Artist:

Hieronymous Bosch

 

The Poetics of Light #11

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

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Momentum

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The beginning of this series starts here

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       We have been introduced to the idea that as human beings, we have collectively created an alternate human perception based on a progressive time continuum. This in turn has created a collective perceptual separation from the Continuum of life… the original paradigm of creation. With culture as its vehicle, this separation runs through a broad range of cultures. However, despite any cultural differences, it is inevitable that as human beings we personally interact with both perceptual paradigms. This leaves us to wrestle with the conundrum that on a day to day basis we are actually interacting with two different collective perceptual paradigms that define awareness. Hmmmmm…..

           Even as infants we are confronted with this perceptual duality. Not only are we born with the vulnerabilities of traumatic experience brought in with us from past incarnations to heal, but as infants we are also born with the cognizance of the Continuum of Life. We have the intrinsic ability to perceive a world of multiple intelligences having an innate capacity to experience each new form of life we encounter with the simple understanding that we are being reciprocally acknowledged. Be it by an animal, a plant, or an energy like sunlight or wind, it can be sensed that what is perceived is very different from us, but there is a naturally reciprocal acknowledgement. We experience the sentient reciprocal relationship of pure experience.

           As we mature, whether it is relative to tribe, village or nation, our perception becomes complicated by many cultural influences. There is much to inform us as to who we are, and where our place is, but for many it remains primarily relative to the human fabric of existence. Within this perspective, particularly in “advanced” cultures, there has also grown a parallel tendency, continually reinforced by cultural consensus, to give individual definition to mental, emotional, spiritual and physical selves.

           We may even have preferences as to which self we most identify with. Encouraged by each different strata of culture we may see ourselves as intellectuals or scholars. Or we may relate to the emotional life of the senses or of human drama and circumstance. We may allow our spiritual paths to define us, affording us specified filters. We may feel we “drive our bodies around like cars”, or conversely, the shape or condition of our bodies becomes an emotional calling card. These are only a few general examples, but in many ways, we have become culturally habituated to regard our bodies as merely a vehicle.

          There is little, if anything, in our current view to substantiate the sentient experience of an infant, that human perception is a reciprocal physical and spiritual relationship in a spiritually intelligent world. Suggesting that our first perceptual impressions are proof that perception is a reciprocal relationship seated in the physical is an inadequate position relative to hundreds of years of consensus agreement that we are a species apart because of the “superiority” of our mental and emotional capacity. Our predisposition towards a singular or dominant “self” reinforces this persuasion.

          The concept that perception is not only seated in the physical but is also a reciprocal relationship may also be especially difficult to encompass in the worldview where mastery of a separate element of the individual “self” is highly considered. How can perception, which seems more rare, more refined than the mere physicality of the body bypass both the mental and emotional powerhouses to be seated in our most vulnerable “attribute” … our bodies?

          In some instances we are even counseled to spiritually deny the body and its inherent sensuous/sentient nature entirely. As we so implicitly understood as an infant though, perception itself is neither mentally seated nor emotionally promoted. Perception is simply the physical and spiritual embodiment of reciprocal relationship.

~

“Perception

through all of our senses

is the physical activity

of being in relationship

in each new moment

Rather than a mental or emotional state

of applied

measuring of observation.”

~

          Held within the whole of life, our most intimate personal responses are inseparable from our physicality. The balancing of our mental and emotional natures is imperative and our most relevant responsibility. One doesn’t arrive at this balancing as a static accomplishment though. There are no short cuts or degrees. Nor can it be fabricated by applying a persona of equilibrium. It requires a daily ongoing effort and an acceptance of the personal vulnerability this requires.

           In the practice of this continual balancing however, we are afforded the opportunities to actualize a physical and spiritual integration that is a nonlinear maturing. It doesn’t follow a time line, even though we recognize certain age specific milestones.

~

“It is also personally unique to each individual

and absolutely cannot be measured.

At any given age, in any given moment,

a person has the potential to experience

physical and spiritual integration,

and does so over and over throughout their lifetime,

in moments that may be subtle or profound. “

~

          As we walk the tight rope between two paradigms of perception, the continual balancing of our mental and emotional natures derives simply from a conscious acknowledgement of the need to do so. In dire situations our attempts are the substance of courage. It is the most basic contribution we can make to our own personal healing and, since we are intrinsically part of the whole of life, reciprocally to that of the world we live in.

~

“Through the cultivation of insight, self knowledge

and an integrated self,

the perception of a separate self shifts to one of wholeness,

as a personal mental and emotional balance is continually maintained

and the dynamics of physical perception are understood.

This process engenders a shifting of perception towards wholeness,

not only within the self, but also an integrity within the

Continuum of Life. “

~

We’ve been shaking the rafters …. now we bring down the walls.

 

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Artist: Tarisse King

 

The Poetics of Light #10

kathe-kollwitz

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Vulnerability

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The beginning of this series starts here

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        In a world like ours, being vulnerable is dangerous. We can easily see that the most vulnerable among us are the ones that are preyed upon and the ones most subject to abuse. So creating a persona of strength and masking our vulnerabilities may seem to be a reasonable approach to survival. The resistance to showing vulnerability, however, reflects even in our most personal and intimate relationships, often depriving us of genuine experience.

          In exploring our perceptual relationship with Time we have begun factoring in the varied aspects of living within a culture, and the cultural consensus that is promoted. In a culture directed to meet the ever increasing needs of securing a projected future, the manipulation of vulnerability in hierarchical structure becomes an essential means of managing its population and producing outcomes. For all intents and purposes it is considered justified and expedient.

          In the dialogues we began further addressing the subject of empathy as we began exploring Culture. Empathy is another broad subject. Essentially invisible, we have only been able to define its warp and weft as it weaves through our lives. It wasn’t until the very end of the dialogues that I came to an understanding of its roots, which is also our objective here. As in the dialogues however, we begin with the breadth of its influence.

          In this context, the manipulation of vulnerability is essentially the employment of the patterns of empathy, how it moves through populations, and then the use of this understanding as a means of influencing outcomes. In practical terms, people who remain vulnerable are easier to manipulate and control. Using the same techniques, businesses and popular culture create prototypes to be emulated and copied that promise safe and effective embellishments to “personas” protecting us from vulnerability at the expense of our own self knowledge.

          On the other hand, there is safety in numbers. When caught in a web of personal helplessness it is seductive to empathize with those who share our particular vulnerabilities, supportively elaborating on the theme. However, without self-healing, these empathetic sympathies tend to validate suffering, keeping us in an empathetic loop and distancing us from opportunities for a deeper self understanding.

          Empathy in one form or another weaves through our lives either through cultural promotion or personal choice. In every sense, hierarchy, empathy and the manipulation of vulnerability are major factors in the function of culture.

          As human beings, it is within our most basic nature to mirror the emotions of others, reflecting our own conscious and unconscious thoughts and feelings. It is felt that expressing empathy affords us a way of dealing with our own vulnerabilities by experiencing them together or through the lives of others, giving breadth to our social instincts. Moving us to feel deeply and follow our need to belong and to be understood, we form supportive relationships that have the expectation of enhancing life. These relationships have the opportunity of promoting personal and collective growth and well being, or at the very least they give us a “safe” place to inhabit until challenged further. Empathy is complicated and has many sides.

          As humans, our reliance on empathy and its patterns have become the means by which we organize our projections, judge the value of relationship and steer our course, anticipating progress through the patterns of cause and effect that have defined our history. We will begin to understand that as human perception has moved deeper into a perceived separation from the Continuum of Life, we alone as human beings have developed our mental and emotional empathic abilities to both heal this perceived separation, but most often to maintain it.

         Even though we witness emotional depth in other creatures besides ourselves, as we continue to explore our human relationship with empathy it will become clearer that it is incorrect to assume that this depth of relationship in other creatures is an empathic response. In the dialogues it was said that empathy as a form of response is solely human. However….

~

Through the continual balancing

of our thoughts and emotions into an integrated physicality

empathy matures,

or has the opportunity of maturing,

becoming less selective, less self protective, less manipulating

and more open to a compassionate and equable response to all vulnerability.”

~

          Despite the seduction and continual employment of empathy, we remain part of the Continuum of Life whether this is acknowledged or not. The nature of the Continuum is to be adept at sophisticated reorganization in organized complexity, adjusting and healing any imbalance. And though we are an integral part of this,

~

“The essential requirement

of creative reciprocal relationship itself

is trust

~

          In our current worldview our regard of time as absolute, as opposed to time being simply a useful measure, substitutes for trusting. It substitutes for trusting that we have the ability to survive by being in a creative reciprocal relationship within the natural organization of life. Culturally we have determined that it is for our highest good to base our endeavors on ordering all of life to our own requirements, thus insuring our future. I was told that, in our current paradigm…

~

“Culture is the measure of our empathy.

Time is the measure of our perception.”

~

          Hierarchy in all its manifestations is the natural extension of this marriage and a pervasive means of measure and control. However, as our perception becomes a cognizant physical embodiment, we realize that inspiration is the common reciprocal language of a spiritually intelligent world. As we shift our perception to the immediacy of relationship, rather than a perceptual relationship with time, reciprocal resonance in the form of insight replaces empathy as a means of connection.

          Our regard of time though, may still hold us in the illusion that everything we experience, including insight, has a forward linear motion. Perhaps not realizing that insight moves in waves…multi-dimensional, multi-layered.

          Sometimes inspiration is simply… a grace-full-ness. Enlivened by these synchronicities we reach for understanding about ourselves, our relationships, our work. As these waves of inspiration move us along, our sense of connection and relationship is enhanced and in our own way we open to everything around us. With our senses heightened, we deepen our cognizance of the physicality of insight.

          As our recognition of insight increases, the dichotomy inherent in a time continuum may foster the feeling of being “singled out” creating either confusion and/or delusion. The images of “winners and losers”, and “chosen ones” are strongly imbedded in our psyches.

~

“In the Continuum

there is no measure

in kinship”

~

          New insights that allow us to venture into unfamiliar or darker territory can also be complicated. We may only comprehend their immediate relevance as insight continues to move deeper in our experience. Only then do we begin to understand further relationships and connections… which then lead to new and deeper insights. We begin to realize that insight is a pulse ever beating, requiring continued responsiveness to actualize further within us and manifest fully in our lives.

          All relationship within the Continuum is based on trust. As we open to insight in these darker realms we are given the opportunities for understanding all that is necessary to heal our vulnerabilities. Because this is a reciprocal relationship we also have the ability to slow the momentum… to take a breath when needed or when becoming overwhelmed.

          The more cognizant we are of our own internal balancing act however, no mater how confusing or difficult, no matter how young or old we are, the more likely we are to be responsive to the subtleties of insight. We are also better able to distinguish when our vulnerabilities are manifesting, lending weight and coloring our experience. Life hands it out in inscrutable ways to have a closer look. Opening to this gives us what we need. Need here is the operative word. Not desire or projection.

          In coming to a level of maturity in the balancing of our thoughts and emotions, at any time in our lives, we have the opportunities to learn resilience, to gain the strengths needed to heal our vulnerabilities, equipping us to handle whatever presents itself. The guidance for this is within us. Acknowledgement is our prayer, a prayer without measure or future tense. It was stressed that this relationship requires no less than daily spiritual acknowledgment, in whatever form our spiritual practices take. Acknowledgement is simple and immediate. It is a matter of conscious relationship not necessarily of form.

~

“Large tree in winter with branches touching the sky.

The cold winds twist and bend the branches into grotesque postures.

A prayer for the purposely obscure and conventional postures

seated in better times.

The world revolves around the sun

Spring follows winter

Summer follows Spring

The tree prays in all seasons”

~

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Artist: Kathe Kollwitz

The Poetics of Light #9

brains-blueprint

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The Continuum of Life

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The beginning of this series starts here

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         It remains an ongoing practice to temper my responses when attempting to understand something out of my referential experience. I’m also learning that understanding, even when heightened by peak experience, is merely the beginning of the slow process of integration. It has become very clear to me that for every understanding, there is an infinite variety of personal approaches and paths to integration. A key though, remains reserving judgement. If there is truth in what is learned, each of us has the opportunity of finding our own personal relationship. This inevitably opens the possibilities for a deeper understanding intimately tailored to one’s own experience while adding further dimension to the whole.

          It is a natural inclination to judge new ideas from our own collected knowledge and experience but we need also to consider that in our current time oriented perceptual paradigm, we are conditioned to measure everything in order to make these judgements. We perceive reality within a continuum that automatically includes a past, a future, and is progressive. We have become conditioned to measure where we are, or where anything we are observing is, on this continuum. We generally stand apart from what we are observing and make calculations according to our persuasions, our desires, our interests, our needs and our fears.

          Because of this we have collectively grown comfortable being perceptual “time travelers”. Our thoughts and feelings often dwell in re-living the past or project into a possible future looking for evidence of proof, safety or opportunity. At any given moment large segments of the human population are perceptually absent to the substance of their own existence.

          This continual human measuring in a time continuum becomes a pervasive mental patterning as we mature. It is a conditioning that places us firmly in the role as an observer, not only separating ourselves from the object of our observation but also existentially promoting a separation within the self. We often live in our minds and our emotions with a preference for which “self” we most identify with, taking clues from the distress this separation of the self causes us.

          For simplicity’s sake and the necessity of a workable vocabulary I’ve begun using the term Continuum of Life when referring to the natural order. We used it in the dialogues for this purpose and we can use it here in comparing the two perceptual continuums… the one based on competition and the other based in relationship.

          At this point it seems best to continue our exploration of perception with our own beginnings. We have all experienced birth. In the dialogues it was said that when we are born, we come into this world in physical and spiritual resonance within the Continuum of Life. Our native intelligence as infants has the unprompted perceptual capacity of being informed by our physical senses and a spiritual resonance with everything we perceive.

          I was also made aware that due to the pervasive violence within our human species, there is also the probability of being born with the inherent vulnerabilities of traumatic suffering experienced during a previous lifetime, but left spiritually unresolved. Also due to the same continual potential for violence, trauma may be experienced repeatedly over many lifetimes with the possibility of complicating and creating further layerings of unresolved suffering. These inherent vulnerabilities are uniquely personal. However, each also has an attendant potential acquired strength.

          In addressing our relationship to past life unresolved trauma I was told simply that as we transition at the time of death, if we have suffered certain trauma that is left unresolved, we are given the opportunity of making the choice to carry this suffering into another life in order to find resolution and healing. The influence of this unresolved trauma manifests in our lives as mental and emotional vulnerabilities. This suffering is personally unique, generally unconscious, and adds an emotional and/or mental weight to our individual considerations.

          At this point in the dialogues I was told little else. I’ve never seen any reason to deny the possibility of reincarnation. However, the only life we have is the one we are living so I’ve personally questioned the relevance of past lives, usually finding them speculated about as an aggrandizement. This was different. It was said that…

“We are who we are in this life

because of who we have been.

We embody our strengths”

        What is relative in this life is the unresolved traumatic suffering from past incarnations that we ourselves have chosen to carry with us in order to find resolution and healing.

        And so we may wonder…with the emphasis on a perception that is centered in the immediacy of relationship, rather than perceptually in a time continuum, even if it is a spiritual choice we are given after death, in what context within the Continuum of Life would it be possible for the two to coexist? And how does one go about healing from something so subliminal? I had pieces of what now began to seem like a very complex puzzle. All I could do was gather myself and experience my own personal becoming in the unfolding of it. My work in the dialogues had begun.

~

“Sparks from stones

Riding the currents

sleeping through storms

Treading water in the dark…

Indigenous rhythms”

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Image:

The Brain’s Blueprint: Mapping the most complex object in the known universe
New Scientist Feb 5, 2011 pg 33

The Poetics of Light #8

mark-rothko

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Chapter Four

Human Separation

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The beginning of this series starts here

~

          In the introduction to this narrative, I have been sharing my own responses while engaging in the dialogues as I piece together my reflections and attempt to integrate all I experienced. As you may have gathered, it is an ongoing practice. The dialogues themselves meandered without any seeming pattern. It was common for certain ideas to be introduced without context and then the dialogues would move on to something else.

            I’m finding that in writing this narrative as I work my way through them I am choosing to present their content in a narrative that makes sense to me. With this said, you may have already noticed that the narrative wanders and circles around itself in order to incorporate its many facets.

          In bold contrast, the very beginning of the dialogues, which I haven’t spoken of, began with material that was a linear accounting of a cyclical dystopian view of history, our dominant relationship with nature and its destructive consequences. The rules of procedure had not yet been established. I can only guess that this beginning was a test to see how and in what ways I might react when confronted with this linear recounting. Perhaps it was a test to see what heroics, or alternately, what paranoid drama I might be inclined towards? Was I feeling singled out for some important reason? I can only guess. So many “facts” were being presented. It was rather like a relentless barrage of information that I waded through with head spinning and energetic exhaustion. I must have passed this first test because I never again experienced a linear approach in the dialogues.

          After this we stayed with more personal topics and concerns. These were the early years in the dialogues and our procedures were not as strict as they became later on, although the rules were introduced and remained the same. In the early days I was presented with the opportunity, with less formality, of being able to ask questions within certain limits and receive answers.

         It was easy to become confused. Very little was conclusive, since I still tended to wander off enthusiastically into my own scenarios. I was often left with the feeling that I was missing something. I’d stop engaging for long periods and would open in Resonance only when I had a health concern or when I had a new question. Although I remained drawn to Contemplative Resonance, I was somewhat unsettled by the ambiguity I often felt. And although I trusted the Source, I often wondered what the point of this unusual relationship could be.

          Then one day the dialogues took a turn and became more focused. We shifted to a broader discussion of the collective with the introduction of the term human separation. There was no initial explanation of what human separation might refer to, or where we might be going with it, but now I felt there was substance and purpose. As the discussions wound round and round we dove deeper. When the material was too tightly woven, we loosened. When too complicated, we diverted. The topics were random, this time lacking any sense of linear order. I began to keep a sketch book finding that doodling helped me formulate my responses.

          It has taken many years to organize my thoughts about these first discussions. They seemed simple at the time, similar to a subject one might study in school. I had no idea how hard it would be to integrate all I learned.

           And so it is here, with considerations of Time and Culture, that we also begin our explorations. Here we find the vehicle and the fuel to continue exploring. As to the map we’re using? I think the map is continually being drawn……

        We began with the introduction of the term human separation with no immediate explanation of what the term might refer to. Instead we discussed the cyclical nature of cultural hierarchy and revolutions, the ebb and flow of acquiescence and dissent. We discussed how cultural archetypes are formed and utilized, such as the hero, the savior and the scapegoat.

          This led to considerations of the effects on us personally of collective consensus, where reality is formulated by agreement. Of the role hierarchy, vulnerability, and time play in the structure of our consensus realities. Of how this is mediated by our myths and stories. And then it was seeded into the dialogues that empathy, whatever it may be, is solely human and inappropriate. With this discussion we had begun opening the tightly sealed box…

          Of how we collectively cultivated a linear time orientation as we “advanced” creating our own progressive perceptual time continuum. Since this was a singular endeavor, not necessarily concerned with incorporating a relationship with the rest of life, (except as to how it was possible to fulfill our needs), it became based primarily on our own organized and singularly protective assumptions. This gradually altered our own collective perception separate from the natural order.

          We have centuries of our own recorded history to document various civilizations, both past and present. However, the real question is….what are we comparing it with? What is the natural order? To answer this, to reconnect with our native intelligence, we have looked to the creative visionaries of every age.

          We search our own hearts and look into the eyes of our children. We immerse ourselves in nature, in finding and creating beauty. We call the paradigm of creation the unknowable, give it the various names of God, or the Ineffable which can not be named. We search for this source within ourselves despite our culturally conditioned perceptual separateness, but also because of the peak moments, the a-ha moments, that remind us of the deeper understanding of our inherent belonging.

         In all actuality, because we are physical beings, it is impossible to be separate from what we are intrinsically a part of, despite the human inclination to consider ourselves in singularity, supposedly exhibiting a mental and emotional superiority over other forms of life. Or on the other hand, feeling cast off and discarded within the machinations of hierarchy.

         It is also impossible to be anywhere else physically but in the present moment, despite our inclination to mentally and emotionally slide back and forth on the progressive perceptual time continuum we have created.

        All of which introduces the consideration that we may be living collectively in two perceptual paradigms which define awareness. Within a time continuum we are perceptually held subject to the cyclical workings of cause and effect. And within the Continuum of Life?

 

“Peering through the keyhole

opening the door”

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Artist: Mark Rothko

The Poetics of Light #7

me

Boot Camp… continued

~

The spaces in between

~

 The beginning of this series starts here

          And so the early days of the dialogues were primarily training. I found myself adjusting to my unusual circumstances, even to the point of forming an emotional bond with one of the teachers I was working with most often. I suppose my attachment was similar to having feelings of love towards any teacher. It was a confusing time, in the first days of the dialogues. I began receiving repeated instructions or “guidance” to do certain things. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. The requests didn’t make sense to me. Why would I be asked to do something so obviously random?

                   Giving it further consideration, I understood this as another test. It was an easy one considering… but all of the tests held layers of learning.

                 I was participating in a perceptual reality where trust and action is based on a mutual and reciprocal relationship that is insightful and creative directly in each moment.

                I was working with this favored teacher while comprehending these early differences. I greatly appreciated a certain playfulness and humor, which gave me the much needed opportunity to relax and hone my instincts. I was better able to move a little closer in understanding how to function and communicate in this most unusual relationship.

              However, shortly after this initial period, I was also asked to refrain from personifying Divinity by name. This may be initially challenging to those who derive spiritual nourishment from a more defined devotion. However, this is a narrative about perception and its consequences. It was said often in the dialogues that prayer, especially the communal coming together in prayer, is an important aspect of spiritual relationship and that all faiths, all spiritual paths hold the seeds of truth.

            Personally I felt I was already initiated in navigating in spiritual relationship without a defined structure of Divinity to draw from. It was clear that I was exploring territory that was entirely new to me, placing everything I’ve ever considered into question. However, this request also included the teachers I was working with. I wondered if the request was because of my growing attachment to this favored teacher and I puzzled over the request. I had just been presented with something totally out of my ordinary experience and I was beginning to find a level of familiarity with it.           

            By complying with this new request I was being challenged to not only learn a different level of trust but also to open to an even more seemingly indefinable relationship with… I didn’t know really. However, more importantly, I was becoming acquainted with the expansive equality inherent in this perceptual paradigm, where no is singled out or separated from the whole.

          When asked to stop personifying my teachers by name I also began to realize that, aside from the need to personalize our experiences, we name as a way of understanding. We are observers. We think in terms of nouns, defining the object of our observation.

            These considerations became less and less of an abstraction as I began to be aware of the immediacy of this relationship… and of all relationship. What occurs in any given moment is multi-layered and relevant to that exact moment of actual experience. Linguistically, nouns became the activity of verbs in a mutual experience with the possibility of creating anything… depending on what is brought to that moment. Instead of two separate observers in relationship with each other, the active fluidity of the relationship itself, the space in between, became the focus. I was experiencing a new level of trust, of vulnerability in relationship and my responsibility in it.

           And so… in this preliminary introduction I have attempted to give some idea of my own responses to the material in the dialogues in hopes that it might lend some insight as to how to approach all we are about to explore, for we have only just begun our work here…

          Ultimately we are being given tools, tools for the illumination and understanding of our personal and collective perception and its effect on ourselves as human beings and on our world. If my own experience is indicative, even the attempt at understanding is to radically change. This seems no small thing as it becomes no less than the most intimate personal revolution. All one can do then… is bloom.

Becoming

is poetry without words

a poem about suffering the song of self

Each person carries their own harmony or dissonance

In the Continuum

it is all the same song

~

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artist: Max Ernst

 

 

 

The Poetics of Light #6

max-ernst

~


Boot Camp

Testing testing….one, two, three

~

The beginning of this series starts here….

     One of the more interesting aspects of the dialogues was the continual testing which came in many guises. At times I was prompted with information that in itself broke a rule challenging an ingrained way of perception. Other times a statement might incite an immediate emotional reaction, which elicited more sensitivity to the sometimes subtle differences between reaction and response.

          The tests, enervating as they were, helped me to grasp that the dialogues were also an open creative relationship. Although I was primarily receptive, I wasn’t only gathering information. I was also consciously accepting what transpired. There is a discernible difference, and I was learning to recognize a clarity to our communication that was physically identifiable. I began building a sense for when I broke a rule or when I was being prompted with a test and I welcomed the challenge. Not only was I to determine when a rule was broken or when I was being tested, but I was expected to understand the meaning or relevance behind each incident. I was slowly learning to physically attune and recognize energetic resonance.

          Eventually I was to find that this training was for a specific purpose. There was a need for accuracy, presence and an acute awareness of the necessity of maintaining a mental and emotional balancing. It was essential that my skills be finely honed in order to handle the material under discussion, which I more or less accomplished depending on what was going on in my life. Our exploration of our perceptual relationship with time was a preliminary for the more difficult work to come.

          The testing remained in place throughout the dialogues, becoming more subtle and unexpected in every challenging context. During each session, breaking any of the rules, and it happened often, was cause for stopping and acknowledging exactly what I had done that was inappropriate. Again, I was not alerted when this happened. I was expected to stop, catch my mistake and explain what I had done in detail. Then our procedure was to say the appropriate prayer asking for forgiveness.

         I usually think of asking forgiveness for a conscious transgression, but I’m not sure it was meant this way. It’s one of the many aspects of the dialogues that remain a mystery to me. And I haven’t spoken of the love and acceptance in learning, which was all ways present and made the testing a challenge to reach further… with deeper understanding. There were a few times when a test completely slipped by me unrecognized. I would be puzzled for days until able to wind back and recount the trail of every error. It amazed me how, first of all, that I remembered the sequence of everything that had transpired, since other than when I broke the rules, I often left a dialogue having only a small grasp or memory of what had been conveyed, especially when exposed to a new concept or delving deeper into its complications.

            More importantly each time this happened, each time a referenced thought or an emotion influenced my understanding. Each time I depended on a linear progressive interpretation of the information being presented or I went off into my own scenarios…. how this progressive, self-absorbed or emotionally ingrained way of understanding had the distinct probability of spreading out in alternate directions with the possibility of creating its own separate reality. This made the idea of “reality” very fluid and arbitrary. I understood that the prerequisite for continuing with creative dialogue was to perfectly understand each test. It could be no other way. Work remained at a standstill until there was exacting resolution.

          This general tendency was addressed one day in the dialogues. Of how the mentally promoted need to know and the emotionally promoted need to save obscure truth. If these dialogues had bumper stickers, this one would be flashing in bright neon. I began to see that we have been conditioned to apply new information in linear patterns. How could it be any other way, since we are prompted by our adherence to a perception of a progressive time continuum? Without personally being present and effecting a personal perceptual shift centered in the immediacy of relationship, we run the risk of searching for corroborating evidence to substantiate the inevitable assumptions that linear thinking creates.

          Or the temptation is to take action, even when altruistic, saddling ourselves with self-ordained responsibility without balancing the active and passive aspects of all creative endeavors when based in relationship. So many challenges. So many questions. This applies not only within the human community, but in respectful relationship with the rest of the world we live and interact with. As the dialogues moved into deeper territory I found both circumstances influencing me in obvious, but also in inscrutable ways. The following is another of the poems from the dialogues….

Geese flying

Grass growing

All the “knowledge” in books is alive only in the mind

And the “mind” is alive only in books

The ground of truth is obscured by the need to know

~

to be continued…..

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Artist: Max Ernst

Poetics of Light #5

 

 Birth of a galaxy

 

 Chapter Three…Part 2

Boot Camp ….  Rules are rules

     ~

The beginning of this series starts here….

       

         Since I was engaged in the dialogues for over a decade, they became less like a spiritual event and simply became an ongoing relationship in my life. In their beginning I was immersed in family life. We are a fairly close knit family and this unusual relationship was accommodated within my day to day routines. “Where’s Mom”? “She’s talking with those guys”. And so it was that those guys became more or less part of the immediate family. 

         During these first few years I would sense an intuitive prompting or a desire to engage. Later when our work in the dialogues had been established (although not exactly defined) and I was living on my own, the dialogues became almost daily work and I initiated contact commensurate with my ability and schedule. However, each time I opened in dialogue I was directed whether it was appropriate in that moment to engage.

          These two inquiries… Do I have permission? and Is it appropriate?… were actually the two questions I had asked that immediately preceded the beginning of the dialogues. In their simplicity and respectful acknowledgement, they became the foundation of our relationship and prefaced each prayer required during any given part of a dialogue, formalizing the relationship and keeping me ever mindful of every shift in conversation.

          I was expected to have thoughts related only to the subject at hand and that I used language entirely descriptive of the present moment, since references to a possible future were inappropriate and cause for stopping and acknowledging that I had done so. Specific references to the past were allowed, but only within context and they had to be relevant to personal experience. I was to be careful to respond with balanced emotion no matter what occurred. I was never to make a verbal reference, or even have a mental thought of another living person, their ideas, or their work. This was by far the most difficult rule to maintain.

          There were formal prayers required when ever a rule was broken. When I had a question of my own I was instructed to verbally formulate it before engaging which I found difficult to remember in my early enthusiasm or long disregard of formality and of strictly following rules. Then beginning a session I was to ask if it was appropriate and if I had permission to ask my question.

          Aside from the continual practice of deep and responsive listening, I began to see that the discipline requirements, the rules of Contemplative Resonance itself, required me to be consistently mindful of the language I was using, since it was required that I speak primarily in the present tense and never relative to anything in the future. This inevitably led to a deeper consideration of my regard of both the past and the future. The past just is. The future, though not certain, is a distinct possibility. So it wasn’t the existence of either but how I regarded them. Was I reading circumstances solely through the filter of the past? Or was I only seeing what would provide me with what I desired, or keep me from what I feared, in a projected future?

          The inability to reference other living human beings or their ideas showed how fluidly other people’s concerns and ideas passed through my thoughts almost unbidden, of how much I relied on all human relationship for validation of simply being and belonging. I came to see that every relationship, even the most simple, acts as a cord anchoring or grounding me in the world I live in.

          I also could clearly see how alive ideas are in the mind and how I automatically build my own concepts by referencing the thoughts of others. It was not easy to understand why referencing others was inappropriate. When the material in the dialogues was the most difficult, the most challenging to witness and integrate, having to hold to this rule often made me feel very alone. I was told it was a matter of respect but it wasn’t until well into the dialogues that I was to understand that all relationship is profoundly creative and immediate. We may inevitably build on the ideas of others but our own response in relationship must come from the solid ground of our own being. We may also care deeply for the welfare of those we love and care about, but without their explicit permission and the express permission to do so, it was a disrespectful interference to make reference to anyone besides myself in Contemplative Resonance. Since thoughts are usually able to roam freely and even my thoughts were known, this rule was extraordinarily difficult to hold to.

          But there was something else, something that was being slowly uncovered. As I held to the rules in this relationship I was to personally witness another deeper, more hidden side of human perception. Perhaps it was possible for me to witness only within the dialogues…and of necessity entirely alone. Despite my trusting, the rules of relationship felt like a tenuous cord holding me in place and enabling me to withstand the riggers of witnessing and recording the human archetypal perception of trauma, denial and indifference.

          However the “boot camp” I am describing here was early in the dialogues and I was learning that it also became essential to closely investigate how I regard new or challenging information, how to venture into unfamiliar territory that may not be expressed in references I was more familiar with. The rules pointedly showed that I habitually connected new ideas with a full personal mental reference library collected over a lifetime. I used these stored references automatically for connecting bits of information and for confirmation or judgement of the value of new information. It was also challenging to remain open when concepts that I was familiar with, consider possible but had already more or less dismissed as irrelevant, were being introduced into context.

          It became apparent to what extent I relied on the world of thought… a vast landscape of memory, acquired knowledge, collective agreement and relationship. This thought patterning of continual referencing was so natural, so pervasive, that in order to hold to the strict discipline, I eventually found it necessary to refrain from any research or reading other than factually relative to the content of the dialogues.

          I was aware that there was also the distinct possibility that in following my own “referenced” trails I would fail to see the complexity of the perceptual paradigm being introduced, especially when confronted with a small part that I didn’t understand or had already previously dismissed. It also became a hindrance to seek comparison with any structured belief or philosophical system to validate my experience. I came to appreciate this offered poem…

Imponderables measured falsely are delusions

Each moment has no measure

          So as simple as the rules were, like keys in a locked box they have become essential tools for perceptual comparisons and deeper, and then deeper again, considering…..

 

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To be continued…..on Sunday, October 2nd after a short hiatus. Off to the Coast  on the 24th!!!!

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Artist: Max Ernst