I visually see with my eyes.

I view the world around me and decipher

the meaning of what I see.


I can view what others see


I will never see

my own eyes



just because

I think

I do


This is a fine puzzle.  In a flash of insight I understood it … but then I’d lose it.

I took my bike out for the first time this season after cleaning and oiling the chain. I was being cautious checking out how the gears had handled storage and neglect, but I was glad to be away from my computer, as I wound my way through a wooded path along the river.

Thoughts of the puzzle returned as I rode along.  I couldn’t disregard it. My sixth sense was holding on for further observation. How did it fit in? Did it fit in? Was it just nonsense?

I’ve been learning to float along with this sixth sense, in an ongoing dialogue that inserts itself now and again, apart from my own referenced musings.

I know a dialogue is technically considered a conversation but I still regard these out of my usual context insights as a dialogue because they prompt a reciprocal response on my part.

So… as I’m riding along the trail, I become aware that….I do think I am seeing my own eyes seeing. It is happening right now! I am clearly experiencing seeing my own eyes seeing.

It is a normal sensation. Very normal, and I check all the mental parameters. But since it has been posed as a puzzle I am challenged to see where this leads.

Then I understood.

By experiencing seeing myself seeing, even from the inside, I was observing myself. Quantum physics tells us that there is no such thing as an observer.

Even of our own self, I wonder?

What if I shift my perception and….engage? Fully. No filters. No verb tenses, past, present, future. No self reflection. So I did.

Be the verb… and I realize this is a visceral way of experiencing the world I am also familiar with. We all are… particularly when surrounded by the beauty of Nature or in new cultural surroundings. When experiencing speed or other physical sensations that require body awareness.  In practiced stillness. In the artistic zone.

We call it peak experience when this way of perceiving knocks us out of our habitual physical perception.

The shift in perception was immediate. It extended to others I passed as well…an easy smile, a relaxation in body language, an openness.

This physically engaged way of perceiving automatically begets a shared experience and I remembered this has been true on every other similar occasion when directly engaging.

Am I able to maintain this perception?  It comes and goes but, with practice, it is becoming easier to recognize and switch. And now with answering this puzzle, I have an experiential touchstone.



19 responses

  1. Great post, being aware of yourself perceiving the world, I too have had such experiences. You have written it down so well. I believe our heart is the ‘driver’ when somehow we are changed, and that new awareness, and openness, recognizable to others, even without words, is surely the most wonderful journey of discovery. We are like children in the classroom. Thank you j.h. for sharing.


  2. Yes, I think that double perception, that ”seeing yourself seeing’ is an obstacle to pure experience and awareness. When you can manage, it feels so lovely to be free of it….


  3. Wonderful, that you are seeing what you see, whilst riding on the saddle of “now-ness”. I had a similar observation about the “visceral way of experiencing the world” when painting Soul of my soul.


  4. Jana, Thank you for these insightful and poetic musings which I read this with great interest. One seeing one’s seeing. I know this sensation. And the engagement, perhaps into meaningfulness…through creative interpretation & usage…


    • I think, Steven, we’ve been so geared towards observation as the method of perceiving our reality, it translates even on this most personal level. Take, for example, how different our perceiving is when engaged in a creative ‘flow’. We aren’t watching our self … we’re just doing it…an ‘engagement into meaningfulness’ as you say.

      You couldn’t have picked a better time to draw me back to this post, Steven. It’s been a needed balance to circumstances lately, which have been causing far too much complicated reflection. So here is a hearty thank you! xxoo


  5. It’s a stunning experience reading page after page thinking, “oh! this is where i get in, now.” that is just what i was wondering this morning. wonderful place to curl up and get lost. meredith


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