The Poetics of Light #4

Max Ernst

Chapter Three…Part 1

Boot Camp


The beginning of this series starts here….

         While engaging in the dialogues, I was held responsible for balancing my own thoughts and emotions and expressing myself in a fully integrated physical presence. However, I was assisted in my attempts to function in this alternate perception by adhering strictly to the rules of procedure. Since I was occupied with simply comprehending that the dialogues were actually occurring, I wasn’t at all aware that these rules would be helpful for this when the dialogues began.

           However, the rules afforded me a thin perceptual veneer from reverting back to the perceptual familiarity of expressing my thoughts and responses from the linear perspective of a time oriented continuum. Rules were rules, and because I was strictly required to follow them, they instigated a deep consideration of how they might apply in my everyday life.

          The dialogues themselves were also not communicated in the linguistic patterns of language I was accustomed to. The immediate challenge was of stretching my ability to communicate in a resonant body centered language. I eventually learned to use my entire body as a resonating aperture for fine tuning the shades and accuracies of meaning in order to communicate. I was immersed in an intricate learning curve.

          The challenge was of learning how to physically translate the immediacy of complete thought, or whole insight, into a sensory language of hearing, feeling and seeing. As I gained competency I was better able to query whether I’d understood what was being communicated and then was reciprocally answered somatically. I literally felt, saw or heard the response resonating in my body which was exhilarating and extraordinary in every sense, especially the visual language. I visualize easily and normally I’d say that a screen “opens up” before my eyes. While in the dialogues I was inside the visuals. It is rather like dreaming in the sense of being immersed in the visual itself. I would then ask questions about what I experienced, or witnessed, which is quite different than describing what I saw.

          Hearing had a variety of expressions. It is not quite accurate to say “I heard” a voice speaking. Most often I’d catch words or phrases. They would just be there and worked as keys or clues, which were a prelude to whole concepts conveyed all at once. Sometimes there were poems… most often in the form of puzzles. I’m still working on this one…

Consequences of actions understood

resemble the opening of a flower

Flowers themselves open because they do

Birds fly because they do

Bees collect pollen because this is their work

Knowing the difference is spiritual maturity

Becoming the difference is life

          Now and again there would be a bodily sensation. I would feel a great weight pressing on me or perhaps my vision would dim. These signaled preparation as we headed into more difficult territory. Eventually the ever shifting variety of subtle body centered expressions developed into a sensory language of communication that was effective even for abstract concepts.

          This way of communicating may seem complicated but I can assure you, it was very effective. In imagining the possibility, perhaps consider the moments of insight that you have experienced and how different each one of them has been. Sometimes insight is simply there… whole and entire, resonating as a knowing accompanied by a heightened sense of physical clarity.

          Other times it comes in smaller insights fostered by synchronicities… something you have heard, seen, dreamed? We piece these layered insights together like a three dimensional puzzle, again accompanied by physical clarity or knowing. Can you actually pin point where this body knowledge is received though? Where these impressions are actually felt in the body? Are they visual? Something you hear? Feel? Dream?

          By participating in the dialogues my appreciation of insight deepened and I gradually developed a tangible recognition of the many physical ways I am personally receptive to it. So although the dialogues were ultimately in words, the words were conveyed in a variety of somatic physical expressions which greatly expanded the possibilities of language.

          As I learned the rules, it was established that I work in absolute solitude without possible interruption for however long each session would take. Sometimes a few minutes, but more often many hours. My personal life was in yet another transition and for the last three years of the dialogues I had the opportunity to give much of my day to this spiritual discipline. I was able to open in resonant communication at regular hours of the day, which aided immeasurably in my abilities to concentrate and hold to the rules.

          The physical guidelines were similar to meditation except that I was to keep my eyes open. Otherwise I tended to float off into my own thinking. Even with my eyes open, I focused on an object in order to keep my mind from wandering or being distracted. Hearing my own voice speaking in normal conversation also helped maintain a body centered focus. It wasn’t until well into the dialogues that I was able to work silently in my own mind without speaking and even then I rarely employed this way of communicating. With practice I slowly became more or less adept at the sensory, animal-like alertness that is necessary for receptive concentration.

          We all have moments of entrainment and there are many known forms. Here are a few examples from Wikipedia….

Brainwave entrainment, the practice of entraining one’s brainwaves to a desired frequency. Entrainment (biomusicology), the synchronization of organisms to an external rhythm. Entrainment (chronobiology), the alignment of a circadian system’s period and phase to the period and phase of an external rhythm.

         I would say it was the norm while engaged in the dialogues, which were purposeful and held within relationship. I’ve since made it a part of my day to consciously drop or center my awareness into the whole of myself….to be aware in my body. I wish I could say it comes naturally but it is not always possible to move awareness into my whole body when it is too strongly focused in my thoughts or particularly my emotions. Then I know I have work to do. When my awareness is physically oriented it feels like a quiet permeable immersion…. and is a matter of grounding in place with my eyes open, physically sensing the movement within as well as without. By doing this my thoughts calm and are relevant to the moment, my awareness is fluid…inside, outside…I become a kind of tuning fork. I am aligning myself in place as well as within.

          I believe it is a traveler’s skill. Perhaps the beauty of it is what keeps some people on the road. It is also useful for sensing potential interference of any kind, but I am not talking here about being “on guard”. I’ve recognized this state of physical awareness since well before the dialogues but never understood the elements of consciously actualizing it.

          By adding this to my daily spiritual practice and working to maintain an element of emotional and mental balance, since it is conscious work, I find that I more easily move from the position of an observer as the distinction between myself and others, myself and my environment changes, becoming more immediate, more direct. When I accomplish entrainment I am more able to discern relevance. Communication is unguarded even if it is just a passing acknowledgement of existence. I feel centered in the province of trust.

 To be continued…..


© Jana H. White

Artist: Max Ernst


16 responses

  1. I’m gonna have to come back and read this again
    there’s just to much here
    Why I came was to say that I love your explanation of
    What you called the feeder answers
    The ones you can actually do something with
    Thank you for your comment
    I just mite have to use that
    As always Sheldon

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This flows easily through some universal landscape. Pools. In the pool a reflection. Carries on. You are letting us look directly into your eyes Jana. Sweet gift. Carries on. We follow. “what keeps some people on the road”. Aha. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This makes me happy Chris….very. finally words flowed easily for me as well. finding a way to lay words down in a line and have them smile back at me. I’m feeling a lightness again. It has been a long long time. This post was for me…a missing puzzle piece. I trust we all have our ways. I don’t think you would be here if you didn’t!
      You called me “sister” once. It felt just right….

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Good grief Jana – this is powerful stuff – I’m so glad you’re sharing it with us. I read this yesterday from Jesse Ball and was thinking along these odd lines of human thought you write about… ” I sat with my mom and she did some gurgling. I thought about how it was easy to think it meant something – the gurgling, but it was actually like leaves or gravel or layers of skin. I mean to say – it isn’t meaningful, it isn’t meaningless. Things just don’t really apply to us in particular, even though we want them to.” (from How to Set a Fire & Why)…birds fly, bees collect, flowers open, Jana entrains…it is wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Our friendship has this effect on me Nathan where I start thinking about words… what are they??? and so I tried moving them out of my head and stuffing them into my fingers, legs, soles of my feet. tentative. (Maybe today I’ll try going deeper into gallbladder, muscle, blood)…finally metaphoring I’m still the “gardener” planting words like a mad scientist into all sorts of experimental soil as I write, edit, write, edit, edit, edit…trying each new permutation /in a little more fertile soil? Am I morphing?

      Thanks for the quote…made me laugh. xxxooo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am grateful for this. Thank you.
    I like this stuff a lot. Here are shortcuts for me to do the necessary human thing to again and again remind myself that we are totally animal, that we have this amazing animal intelligence that as children we were told to discard but that we kept hidden between our toes, under our armpit to be pulled out when no one was looking—we would be shamed if seen. To remind myself we are spiritual too, that we have this amazing possibility of belonging, and the body is yes the medium that we use to touch all strands of knowing. That human is the intersection of pulls that only seem contradictory if we try and resist them.
    Your writing is precious because it makes visible what I know but sometimes doubt, namely that the most important ‘knowing’ ‘learning’ ‘hearing’ does not involve the head, it’s an infusion, a contagion, a windswept, a soaking, it touches our higher self through our physical vessel, it makes no sense if you try and explain it and yet there is perhaps nothing more essential, perhaps nothing more really, apart from a masquerade of avoidance which sometimes we mistake as life. And your words express all that to me with ease. And I am also grateful because this is what I’m at, and probably be at all my life, attempting to touch these truths with my hand and realising they are imbedded in me already…

    Liked by 1 person

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