Boot Camp… continued
The spaces in between
The beginning of this series starts here
And so the early days of the dialogues were primarily training. I found myself adjusting to my unusual circumstances, even to the point of forming an emotional bond with one of the teachers I was working with most often. I suppose my attachment was similar to having feelings of love towards any teacher. It was a confusing time, in the first days of the dialogues. I began receiving repeated instructions or “guidance” to do certain things. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. The requests didn’t make sense to me. Why would I be asked to do something so obviously random?
Giving it further consideration, I understood this as another test. It was an easy one considering… but all of the tests held layers of learning.
I was participating in a perceptual reality where trust and action is based on a mutual and reciprocal relationship that is insightful and creative directly in each moment.
The difference between “procedure” and “guidance” was made clear. I understood that although they both may seem aspects of possible future action, the choices I make that are directly relevant to my life are completely my own to make and are my uniquely personal relationship with life. Whereas “procedure” is simply descriptive instructions relevant to the subject at hand.
I was working with this favored teacher while comprehending these early differences. I greatly appreciated a certain playfulness and humor, which gave me the much needed opportunity to relax and hone my instincts. I was better able to move a little closer in understanding how to function and communicate in this most unusual relationship.
However, shortly after this initial period, I was also asked to refrain from personifying Divinity by name. This may be initially challenging, or even blasphemous, to those who derive spiritual nourishment from a more defined devotion. However, this is a narrative about human perception and its consequences. By complying with this new request I was now being challenged to not only learn a different level of trust, but also to question the very foundations of my organized and accepted perceptual “reality”.
I was becoming acquainted with the expansive equality inherent in this alternate perceptual paradigm, where no one is singled out or separated from the whole. It seems clear now that it was important that I undertake a completely inclusive perspective. In this perceptual paradigm, all aspects of God are included.
At the same time it was affirmed that prayer, especially the communal coming together in prayer, is an important aspect of spiritual relationship and that all faiths, all spiritual paths are relevant and hold the seeds of truth.
However this also included the relationship with my teachers. When asked to stop personifying my teachers by name I also began to realize that, aside from the need to personalize our experiences, we name as a way of understanding. We are observers. We think in terms of nouns, defining the object of our observation.
These considerations became less and less of an abstraction as I began to be aware of the immediacy of this relationship… and of all relationship. What occurs in any given moment is multi-layered and relevant to that exact moment of actual experience. Linguistically, nouns became the activity of verbs in a mutual experience with the possibility of creating anything… depending on what is brought to that moment. Instead of two separate observers in relationship with each other, the active fluidity of the relationship itself, the space in between became the focus. I was experiencing a new level of trust, of vulnerability in relationship and my responsibility in it.
And so… in this preliminary introduction I have attempted to give some idea of my own responses to the material in the dialogues in hopes that it might lend some insight as to how to approach all we are about to explore, for we have only just begun our work here…
Ultimately we are being given tools, tools for the illumination and understanding of our personal and collective perception and its effect on ourselves as human beings and on our world. If my own experience is indicative, even the attempt at understanding is to radically change. This seems no small thing as it becomes no less than the most intimate personal revolution. All one can do then… is bloom.
is poetry without words
a poem about suffering the song of self
Each person carries their own harmony or dissonance
In the Continuum
it is all the same song
© Jana H. White
artist: Max Ernst