Finger prints



You were imprinted on my fingertips

written as dim memory

in line and skin


I kept your image at arms length

or balled it into a fist

A turning away

from the violence

As if there is no real death in ascending?


As a child

it is true

I was taught to expect some relationship

while being impressed into the feverish tribe

of Jesus watching


Before me

pale lipped men

created tension

bells ringing


with a tiny chaste taste


Who clothed me

in this rag tag skin of living words?

Held hostage



I fall pummeled and wading

in the waves of this unexpected birthing

Free now to love you simply as a man


A man of flesh and bread and wine

who once lived to turn the world.



Artist: Caravaggio

The Poetics of Light #9



The Continuum of Life


The beginning of this series starts here


         It remains an ongoing practice to temper my responses when attempting to understand something out of my referential experience. I’m also learning that understanding, even when heightened by peak experience, is merely the beginning of the slow process of integration. It has become very clear to me that for every understanding, there is an infinite variety of personal approaches and paths to integration. A key though, remains reserving judgement. If there is truth in what is learned, each of us has the opportunity of finding our own personal relationship. This inevitably opens the possibilities for a deeper understanding intimately tailored to one’s own experience while adding further dimension to the whole.

          It is a natural inclination to judge new ideas from our own collected knowledge and experience but we need also to consider that in our current time oriented perceptual paradigm, we are conditioned to measure everything in order to make these judgements. We perceive reality within a continuum that automatically includes a past, a future, and is progressive. We have become conditioned to measure where we are, or where anything we are observing is, on this continuum. We generally stand apart from what we are observing and make calculations according to our persuasions, our desires, our interests, our needs and our fears.

          Because of this we have collectively grown comfortable being perceptual “time travelers”. Our thoughts and feelings often dwell in re-living the past or project into a possible future looking for evidence of proof, safety or opportunity. At any given moment large segments of the human population are perceptually absent to the substance of their own existence.

          This continual human measuring in a time continuum becomes a pervasive mental patterning as we mature. It is a conditioning that places us firmly in the role as an observer, not only separating ourselves from the object of our observation but also existentially promoting a separation within the self. We often live in our minds and our emotions with a preference for which “self” we most identify with, taking clues from the distress this separation of the self causes us.

          For simplicity’s sake and the necessity of a workable vocabulary I’ve begun using the term Continuum of Life when referring to the natural order. We used it in the dialogues for this purpose and we can use it here in comparing the two perceptual continuums… the one based on competition and the other based in relationship.

          At this point it seems best to continue our exploration of perception with our own beginnings. We have all experienced birth. In the dialogues it was said that when we are born, we come into this world in physical and spiritual resonance within the Continuum of Life. Our native intelligence as infants has the unprompted perceptual capacity of being informed by our physical senses and a spiritual resonance with everything we perceive.

          I was also made aware that due to the pervasive violence within our human species, there is also the probability of being born with the inherent vulnerabilities of traumatic suffering experienced during a previous lifetime, but left spiritually unresolved. Also due to the same continual potential for violence, trauma may be experienced repeatedly over many lifetimes with the possibility of complicating and creating further layerings of unresolved suffering. These inherent vulnerabilities are uniquely personal. However, each also has an attendant potential acquired strength.

          In addressing our relationship to past life unresolved trauma I was told simply that as we transition at the time of death, if we have suffered certain trauma that is left unresolved, we are given the opportunity of making the choice to carry this suffering into another life in order to find resolution and healing. The influence of this unresolved trauma manifests in our lives as mental and emotional vulnerabilities. This suffering is personally unique, generally unconscious, and adds an emotional and/or mental weight to our individual considerations.

          At this point in the dialogues I was told little else. I’ve never seen any reason to deny the possibility of reincarnation. However, the only life we have is the one we are living so I’ve personally questioned the relevance of past lives, usually finding them speculated about as an aggrandizement. This was different. It was said that…

“We are who we are in this life

because of who we have been.

We embody our strengths”

        What is relative in this life is the unresolved traumatic suffering from past incarnations that we ourselves have chosen to carry with us in order to find resolution and healing.

        And so we may wonder…with the emphasis on a perception that is centered in the immediacy of relationship, rather than perceptually in a time continuum, even if it is a spiritual choice we are given after death, in what context within the Continuum of Life would it be possible for the two to coexist? And how does one go about healing from something so subliminal? I had pieces of what now began to seem like a very complex puzzle. All I could do was gather myself and experience my own personal becoming in the unfolding of it. My work in the dialogues had begun.


“Sparks from stones

Riding the currents

sleeping through storms

Treading water in the dark…

Indigenous rhythms”


© Jana H. White

Image: The Brain’s Blueprint: Mapping the most complex object in the known universe
New Scientist Feb 5, 2011 pg 33

Hear me #2

youthful abstraction


scraped rust from my tongue

older than before I was born for nothin

score the initiations of death

my gaming sport

rough and blunt points

for taken the hoes down

I’m not even tired yet

just getting started

gimme gimme


To call out my anger. To give voice to all sides in this massive and long holding violence so I can see touch be whole at least in myself. I’m not asking for some peaceful distancing. Some mental balancing. Somewhere in there lies compassion…somewhere. I will find this flower

© J.H. White